she said...

There have been several things in my life which I anticipated with great expectation which proved to be not exactly what I had expected. For example, I thought that once I turned a certain age, everything in my life would be perfect. Once I reached that age, it was nothing like I expected it to be. None of the privelidges and joys which I had hoped for came true, not at that time at least. They did eventually come true, but not in the way in which I expected. It taught me, though, that if I sit waiting for a certain time or a certain event to occur to change my life, to define me and give me happiness, happiness will never come, becuase fulfillment does not come in events or in being a certain age. It comes from inside. I can say that all I want, write it, speak it, think it, but that doens't mean that I fully understand it in my life. I still look forward to certain things that I think will make my life perfect, but it never does. I have to be happy inside and until I am, nothing on the outside will be fulfilling.